Accidents
by Coooool123
Summary: The Koopalings childhoods' were far from perfect. Ask anyone. This is a series of oneshots featuring what has affected them the most during their lives... Come see their accidents and how they have molded them into who they are today. Critiques are loved.
1. Ludwig

**Some credit to Walkazo for the whiteboard bit. Most of this is based off of the book canon, or at least the ending is.**

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I had an accident when I was four.

It was when I had begun to discover my love of creating music. I had always loved performing, but creating had a certain flair to it that left me entranced by allowing the notes to flow onto pages in whatever form I saw fit. I didn't need to be restricted by the minds of others or permit them to tell me what to do. I could make my own music, and design it the way I wanted to. It wasn't easy, but I greatly enjoyed it, and my enhanced intelligence allowed me to create things that sounded beautiful.

Or at least, they _would_ have sounded beautiful, if I could actually hear them.

You see, at that point in my life, I despised personal hygiene. I would hide out in the filthiest places possible, avoid every attempt to give me a bath, in order to continue my musical compositions. Of course, I realize now how completely idiotic this was, but I was only four at the time, and my intelligence had not developed to comprehending the importance of cleanliness, especially with my type of hair.

So day after day I sat in filth, avoiding any attempts for washing. I was unsuccessful on occasion, but the majority of the time I managed to avoid the quotidian task. My unkempt hair earned me the nickname 'Kooky' from my family.

This inevitably caused my demise.

One day, I cannot say for certain which day, as dates were not important to me back then, I awoke to an odd quiet, and a strange pain within my ears. I did not mind the silence, and quite frankly, it was nice to avoid waking to the sounds of screaming siblings and chaotic minions. As for the pain, I figured that it would pass over time and I did not concern myself with it. I didn't notice the time, that it was much later than my alarm had been set, and so began a strange, and silent, sequence of events.

First, breakfast… well, actually, lunch. I had awoken at 11:47 if my memory serves me correctly, for it took me ten minutes to get to the dining room at that age, where it was 11:57.

At any rate, everyone else was already there. Mother gave me a concerned look, and opened her mouth to ask me a question. I am still unsure of whether she actually did or not.

Regardless, the servants soon brought out our meals, and we began to indulge in what they had prepared: simple sandwiches. I was surprised that we were eating sandwiches for breakfast. It was definitely an interesting change of pace.

Now, during our meals, I will often think up different symphonies, and I used to have a subtle habit of humming them, a habit I have long since broken, as far as I know. My father could not stand humming, and usually I was able to catch myself before he noticed or before I could be punished if he did. Simply stating my name in a warning tone would be enough. Unfortunately, as I could not hear myself humming, I never noticed that I was doing it. Father, according to the others, ordered me to stop, but we obviously know why I did not obey. I happened to cast a glance over at my mother, who was staring at me. I turned back to my meal, oblivious to my father's orders. I was lost in my own thoughts, until a large blow struck my cheek. I burst into tears, completely baffled at the sudden attack. My father, next to my chair, stormed off in fury and slammed the door behind him. The noise startled the others, making them jump. I did not respond. Mother tilted her head as she comforted me gently, gears turning in her head while she rustled my filthy hair.

We each got a cookie after we ate, and I did not complain. Cookies after breakfast was something I had always longed for. And it helped sooth the pain in my face. Mother was giving me an odd look while we finished our meal.

While Iggy curled up into Mother's lap to sleep after his own special meal, I took Lemmy and Roy along to play after we had eaten, carrying the latter as Lemmy rolled along down the hallway. I did not hear Mother's call. Roy gave me a look of prompt, as if he expected me to say something, or react in some way, as we left the dining room.

The tears on my face had mostly dried by this point, and by the time we reached the toy room I was my usual self. I was attempting to teach Roy how to walk, as he had not mastered the simple task yet, and while he could stumble a few feet, I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to fall if he ran off on his own. He opened his mouth to whine, and I let out a sigh before I replied. I had guessed what he would say before he could say it. What I did not realize was that he had already spoken.

"You must learn to valk eef you vish to play!" I had calmly replied. That was when I froze and realized something. I had felt my vocal cords vibrate and words expel from my mouth…

…but I had not heard them.

Baffled, I stared down at my hands and clapped them together. No sound. Not even a whisper. Uncertain as to what was going on, I clapped again. And again. The puzzlement increased within me as to why my hands made no noise when I hit them together in standard fashion. Around this time my mother arrived and called me.

"Ludwig? Could you come here?"

Obviously I could not, having no idea that she was present at all.

"Wudwud, mama caw ya!" Roy prompted, glancing at me. I stared back, unsure as to what he wanted and why he would not speak. In fact, I wondered why no one was speaking at all this day.

As reported by my siblings, Mother approached behind me and smacked her hands together very loudly. That would explain why Lemmy unexpectedly fell off of his circus ball for no apparent reason…

A tap on my shoulder startled me, and I spun around in fright. Mother looked down at me, visibly concerned, and picked me up, much to my disdain. She took me, squirming, to Kamek. I figured I was in trouble, and did not want to be punished for nothing twice in one day.

Mother forced me to sit, and Kamek examined the sides of my head. He took a black marker and wrote something down on a paper-sized whiteboard. Showing me the whiteboard, I read the words that he had written. It was a good thing my intelligence had advanced far beyond my age, for otherwise I would not have comprehended what he had attempted to relay to me.

_Prince Ludwig, you have a very severe ear infection, which has damaged your ear drums. You have gone deaf._

Thunderstruck was not even close to describing the sentiment I felt at that moment. Way to put it down easy, Kamek…

I suppose he had said it as he wrote, because my mother clutched my shoulders tightly right before I saw the words.

He erased what I had read and wrote something new:

_Whether or not this is permanent, I cannot say. But I _do_ know that this was caused by your bad hygiene habits, which must come to an end immediately. I will give you some antibiotics from the medical ward to clear your ear infection. Hopefully this deafness won't last._

I hated the fact that I would have to have a bath now, but being deaf was even worse. Now I could no longer hear my music. That upset me more than my physical condition, and I cried a lot that week. Father came and comforted me because of slapping him, apologizing despite the fact that I couldn't hear him.

After being treated, I continued to write music. However, considering that I wrote by ear, I never knew if what I was creating was pleasant or not. To boost my self-esteem, I bragged about my symphonies and forced my family to listen to them. Which they hated. Father, not being able to stand it anymore, locked me in one of the labs for a week. There, out of boredom, I discovered my love for inventing machines as another hobby as opposed to inventing music. I realized machines, like music, had their own patterns and rhythms and flow. This assisted me in creating many things within that week of punishment, and while some were failures, I learned from the books that were located there, and I grew in my knowledge of machinery, able to improve my designs.

When my punishment was up, how stunned Bowser was to see the numerous devices I had made! He was proud of me, and permitted me to keep playing my Koopa Symphonies, much to the family's chagrin.

I learned to read lips in order to tell what my siblings were saying. For the most part, it was not too hard. There were a few mistakes and misinterpretations, but I managed fairly fine without my ears.

Two years later, in our first battle with the pesky plumbers, I received three blows to the head by the boot of Mario. The first two did nothing, but the third…

"OW!"

I sat up stunned when I heard my voice.

"I… I can hear again! I'm not deaf anymore!"

Needless to say, Mario continued on in confusion. I shared the news with my family joyously, and despite our loss, it was a night for celebration. I played one of my symphonies.

Which I immediately discovered was atrocious. I burned every sheet of music I had made over the past two years and immediately started fresh that night. My family had an even greater celebration the next day… I was unsure whether I should have felt insulted or not…

I had an accident when I was four.

Because of it I could not hear for two years of my life.

But I also learned how to invent things.

Whether it's a happy ending or not… I will let you decide.


	2. Lemmy

I had an accident when I was one month.

I don't remember what happened; King Dad told me though.

I was a very tiny hatchling. I could fit in the palm of my mom's hand. They said that I was born prematurely, but I was still healthy. And everything was fine until a month later.

Ludwig was carrying me. I think we were heading to the toy room… I'm not sure, I don't remember much…

I think when we got there I squirmed out of his arms and he let me crawl around. He wasn't paying much attention to me. Mom was there, keeping an eye on us. She was sitting on a chair, smiling at me. That I do remember.

I was looking at a wall, then I looked back at Ludwig. I wanted to walk like he was, so I grabbed at the stone to try to help myself up. One of the bricks moved inward, and a secret passage exposed itself. In my startled state of having the wall disappear on me while I tried to use it to get up, I fell into the passage. My mom cried out when the wall moved, and tried to catch me, lunging forward, as I pitched headfirst into the darkness and fell down many stairs, landing on my head for most of them. I was unconscious on reaching the bottom.

You see, the toy room was on one of the highest floors of the castle. The passage I fell into descended all the way to the dungeon. So there were a lot of stairs that I hit my head on.

After I had awoken, I couldn't see properly or think straight. I couldn't move properly either; when my parents and Ludwig tried to teach me how to walk, I kept tripping over my feet. I cried a lot during my first two years, but it was a soft type of crying. I never was a loud hatchling… so at least I didn't make my parents mad with wailing.

I learned that I had brain damage. My accident had caused me to go somewhat simple. My dad gave up on me as a lost cause, someone who would never be able to do anything properly. He still loved me; I guess he was just disappointed because of what had happened. He was very angry for a good number of weeks. I wonder if he ever felt guilt over what had happened…

Mom never stopped believing in me though. She would continue to try to teach me how to walk, always patient with me.

It wasn't until the age of three that I discovered I could walk perfectly on a circus ball. It was weird for everyone to get used to. It was pretty much weird in general, but I guess it was so weird it worked.

It was about a week before Ludwig went deaf. The castle had just gotten a shipment of new toys, since Mom was pregnant again with Wendy's egg. Among these things were bright yellow circus balls, with orange stars on them.

It was kind of funny thinking about how the whole thing worked.

A circus ball was in the toy room, while I was facing it, and Roy and I were using the seesaw. Well, I was using the seesaw. Roy was watching me sit on the end of it, trying to convince a rainbow Goomba plushie with my baby blanket as a cape to gain some more weight so that we could use the seesaw.

Even then he was a jerk.

He waited until Mom wasn't paying attention to us and watching Iggy, before reaching up to the seat that my plushie was on and pulling it down. I still remember the smug look on his face when I went flying. He was really strong, even when he was only two.

In any case, I somehow managed to land on the circus ball, on my feet. Since it was leaning against the wall, I was able to balance myself by holding against it when I landed. Mom didn't see how it happened, so Roy thought he got away with it, but Ludwig, who saw the whole thing, scolded him badly, and went to go tell her.

In my confusion, I stood there, dazed, and the circus ball started to roll under my weight. Alarmed, I instinctively began to move my feet in such a way that I didn't fall. My family members stared at me. Mom burst into tears, happy to see me finally able to move. I almost fell a couple times, but managed to keep my balance. With Dad's help, I became a natural. It definitely made me very happy. I couldn't stop smiling for… well, for a very long time!

That night we had a big celebration, with lots of dessert. Roy and I both got the biggest portions of ice cream. I guess it really was thanks to him that I discovered what I could do.

I had an accident when I was one month.

Because of it I can't see straight or walk properly.

Because of it I don't always understand things everyone else does.

But I also have unique abilities that I wouldn't have gained otherwise.

I'm also the happiest member of my family, and I can understand things no one else does.

Was it a happy accident?

I can't really say.

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**It's a shorter chapter, I know, but hopefully it's good.**


	3. Roy

**Just so you know, this is Roy's opinion of his siblings. Not my opinion of them. Also, some of the things I write may not exactly be my own headcannon. Like, I don't think Roy would've had an eye operation... but maybe he did... ****I don't know, is it hard to write things that aren't your headcannon?**

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I had an accident when I was two.

It was a normal day in the castle, and I was playin' with Lemmy and Ludwig. Wendy's egg was gonna be showin' up in a few weeks, and Iggy was being cared for by Mom and Pop. Ludwig was already a brainiac; even at age four, but my language skills were pretty limited, even for regular two-year-olds.

Not that I care. I had better things to worry about than talking. Like trying to move without falling flat on my face every two seconds.

Anyway, Ludwig was 'helping' me walk – more like putting me on my feet and getting mad at me when I fell down, but what did he want from me? I couldn't do anything about it. He's supposed to TEACH me, not yell at me for somethin' I couldn't do yet – while Lemmy watched from a rubber circus ball he had started walking on a week before. Even at that age he was a runt, less than half our size. And even at that age he was a weirdo. How he managed to figure out what he was doing was beyond me. I don't even know how he even realized he could walk on a circus ball. Dumb luck, if you ask me.

So I don't wanna walk, cuz I got frustrated and kept landing on my tail, so I said to Ludwig…

…I feel like an idiot for writing this, but whatever…

"Wudwud, no waha wa-h," I grumped, "Wa-ha pay!"

"You must learn to valk eef you vish to play!" he snarked back at me.

"Shaddup!" Except it came out like… Sadah or something. I don't know. You expect me to remember things I said from thirteen years ago? I bet you don't remember things you did thirteen minutes ago. So stop interrupting and let me get this over with. Or be like Moron and I'll _make_ you stop. I've always got duct tape with me, and don't think I won't use it.

Great… now where was I… see what happens when you cut me off? Let's see… trying to walk… Ludwig being an idiot… and after that…

…Oh right. Now I remember. So our mom had walked by around then, and had taken Ludwig away. Who knows why. I bet it was because he was ignoring her and Pop that day. Getting what he deserved… stupid, stuck-up, perfect, little teacher's pet… Or I guess parent's pet in this case, but whatever… She told me to play with Lemmy, but I left him, because he was, and still is, dumber 'n a bucket of rocks. Seriously, you can't tell him something without having to dumb it down and repeat yourself six times. Then he doesn't even remember what you tell him two minutes later. Guess he's worse than you guys, you've got nine minutes on him... wait that's not right… thirteen… minus two… uh… ten minutes? Oh who cares who needs math anyway? But seriously, Lemmy's like a hyperactive Chain Chomp puppy. And since we have Iggy's annoying little mutt runnin' around all over the place I know exactly what I'm talking about. No wonder the two of them get along so well. Betcha Iggy think's Lemmy's his other Chain Chomp or something. Idiots. All of 'em.

…stop distracting me. I want this to be over. I've got training to do, and you're not helping by making me get off topic and talk about my family of nitwits.

Where was I…? Right. So I was tryin' to walk, since Ludwig's a useless teacher, 'n everything's fine, 'till I wander off and end up in an off limits zone. It was a construction area, mainly welders, all lined up and doing tasks. But like a two-year old could read a 'Do Not Enter' sign, or know what the symbol's supposed to mean. No, Ludwig and Iggy don't count. They're prodigies or whatever. Leave me alone.

So there I was, mindin' my own business. I had dropped my shades I'd had because of an eye operation that was supposed to fix 'em (not like I could tell anyway, I don't remember what things looked like back then), bent down, picked 'em up, looked up, then WHAM! Huge sparks, twenty or somethin', flashed into my eyes all at once, making me drop my shades again. I was dazed, and every time I regained my focus, I was blinded once more. This goes on about four or five times, until everything was black; couldn't see anymore. That's when I started bawlin'.

…shaddup. I was two. You try bein' two and gettin' blinded and see where that gets ya.

So somehow I manage to get my shades back onto my face – a lotta good that'll do me since everything was already black – and one of the workers spots me and freaks out. All I hear is hollerin' and yellin', people grabbin' at me, and I still can't see squat. Because apparently that's gonna help my case and calm me down.

Next thing I know I'm in Mom's arms. I have no idea when she showed up or when she figured out I was gone, it was all a blur, considerin' that I couldn't see squat.

So she takes me over to Kamek, the senile old Swooper.

"Another one?" he asks, irritated. Or maybe it was concern. I can't remember. But apparently I wasn't the only one with a problem that day.

…Come to think of it… I think that was the day Ludwig was actin' all weird and didn't answer anyone when they called him. Maybe he wasn't ignorin' everybody. Anyway.

Kamek does some sort of science-y magic-y stuff, not that I can actually see anything at this point, so don't ask me the details.

So he drops the bomb. Temporary blindness, permanent sensitivity. Can't take the shades off. Too much light exposure would blind me permanently.

Mom freaks out, cryin' more than I thought she would. She cried more than me that day. Something about 'how she's an awful parent, how she had two kids damaged in one day', I didn't really get it. Still don't, not really. She was a great mom. Don't know why she was so upset about something that was my own stupid fault, not hers. Even Ludwig's hearing loss was his own fault, he was dumber than me back then, I think. I may be stubborn but I was still cleaner. Can't let all that sweat build up from trainin'. You reek if you do. And that ain't a pleasant thing to wake up to in the morning. I live with Morton. Trust me on this.

Going back to what I was sayin', it took a few weeks for me to get my full sight back, even with Kamek's crazy old man help, but even then my eyes were hurtin', like when you sit on a Pokey. Larry did that once. It was hilarious. I think it was a full year before everything was finally back to normal. Well… not exactly normal, but I could see well enough that I didn't need any more help. Things stopped changing at that point, anyway.

So that's it. That's the whole story. Guess I gotta wrap it up now. Finally. We woulda been done way sooner if you'd all just kept your mouths shut.

I had an accident when I was two.

Because of it, I have extremely sensitive vision.

Because of it, I can never expose my eyes to the world.

Not that I would anyway.

I'll pound ya if you mock me about it.

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**Also apologies for this whole second update if it happens. The description didn't edit itself.**


	4. Iggy

**I have a poll on my profile... I'd like you all to vote for what you'd like to see next ^^ what you'd like me to update next, I mean. I hope you'll let me know!**

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I had an accident when I was an egg.

Obviously, not being entirely conscious during this period of my life, I was unable to give a viewpoint analysis of my incident. But I shall recount it according to details generously provided for me by my family members.

…Most of them anyway.

My older brother Lemmy explained that the incident happened about a few months after my egg-laying had occurred.

At the time, Lemmy was very protective of my egg. He somehow knew that he wouldn't be the smallest anymore, at least for a while, anyway. Plus, with Roy's attitude and Ludwig's greater intelligence and desire for solitude all beginning to develop, Lemmy was excited for someone who would be willing to play with him and who wouldn't tease him. So he guarded me like a mother would. He was with the egg more that mother, in all honesty. He would get a servant to put me in a wagon filled with blankets, and then he would order the servant, as well as he could, to tote us around very, very, gently. Lemmy would babble incoherently, trying to show off the castle to me and explaining where everything was. Given his own accident at one month, he was incapable of walking until a year after my hatching. But he was still able to comprehend some things, even in his state, and he would do whatever he could to prevent anything from happening to me, to prevent me from going through what had happened to him.

He would often take the blankets that were with us and wrap my egg in them, wiping it down and making sure it was sparkling clean. He once threw a fit when he noticed a bug crawling on the shell, and cried for a good ten minutes after he got it off, before the others could finally calm him down. He went with me everywhere, and vice versa.

Except for one place: therapy.

As Lemmy had not yet started walking, my mother would occasionally go and take him to see a specialist in order to help him try to learn how to walk, leaving King Dad in charge of the rest of us. Lemmy enjoyed it at first, but after I came along, he would stubbornly throw tantrums in order to get mom to take me with her. Our mother wasn't exactly certain with this decision, as she didn't want anything to happen to me, and she didn't want my egg to become damaged, especially given Lemmy's state.

Oh the pure irony, considering what happened during one of these trips.

Father had been foolish enough to allow Roy to handle my egg one time.

That in itself should be enough to explain everything, but I will elaborate anyway.

You see, father wasn't exactly – and still isn't, in all honesty – a model parent. So when mother left for therapy sessions, he didn't exactly concern himself with our wellbeing. Not to say that he didn't care for us, no. But rather, he did not consider that anything that could happen to us would have any long-lasting effects.

So when Roy came and asked if he could hold me, King Dad agreed without so much as a second thought or a word of caution.

I should probably explain that Roy was not able to walk very well either. I suppose holding my egg kept him balanced, for according to Ludwig, he did not drop me or fall.

At first.

Ludwig, not trusting father's judgement, followed Roy at a distance, but he soon lost him in the maze of hallways that filled our home. To this day I still do not know where he was planning to take me.

Roy recounted later to father what had happened, through hand gestures and poor speaking abilities.

Apparently he had been carrying my egg down the halls, in a more secluded area of the castle, when he had tripped near a set of stairs heading down to the basement – a long drop, at any age. My egg flew down the stairs and repeatedly bounced, as Roy rushed off as quickly as he could, falling at almost every step he took, as I was not there to keep him balanced anymore.

I received five dents, three cracks, and a small puncture. I suppose I could end my story there, as that is where the accident ends, but I might as well finish what happened afterwards.

I had remained at the bottom of the stairs for the rest of the day, until a Goomba minion finally found me on performing an errand to restock the kitchen of its' Yoshi eggs.

I was considered to be one. Apparently the idiot didn't realize the very evident difference between our species.

Around this time, Lemmy and Mom had returned. Upon realizing that the egg was missing, Lemmy threw the biggest fit you had ever seen. According to Ludwig, it was even worse than one of Wendy's tantrums. Mom was panicked, of course, but no one was more upset than Lemmy.

Roy wasn't anywhere to be found when King Dad confessed that he had let him hold the egg. I don't know where Roy was hidden, but it was their top priority, assuming that he still had me.

When they did find him, hiding in the toy room, and he explained what had happened, to the best of his abilities, everyone freaked out. They didn't consider punishing Roy at that time, because finding me was the most important thing at that moment, as far as anyone was concerned. My parents checked the stairs where I had been, according to Roy's direction, but when I wasn't there, the castle was immediately put on red alert to find my egg.

I believe I was told that Lemmy even had minions race him around in his wagon to try to find me as soon as possible.

Back to my current situation, I had been lumped together with a group of Yoshi eggs – again, how they never realized I was entirely different was beyond me – and had been brought to the kitchen to be washed and scrambled for that night's meal, along with four actually edible eggs.

I was the last on the table, therefore I was going to be washed and used last.

Yet again, there was nothing hindering their ability to see. I have no idea how they couldn't have perceived the very evident difference between Dragon-Koopa and Yoshi eggs. I was a different colour and didn't even have spots.

Now, as I've been told, the search for me grew more and more frantic. Because, honestly, I could've been anywhere and everywhere.

Of course the kitchen had no idea what was going on…

Finally, after I had been washed and was about to be cracked into a large bowl with the Yoshi eggs, Lemmy and the minions who had been pulling him burst into the room.

He let out the most enraged scream ever heard in Darkland upon seeing me above the frying pan, about to be cracked, and practically launched himself at the Koopa Chef, wrestling me from his hands and hugging me with the strongest grip he dared.

I may have been unconscious, but somehow… I remember that scream. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever heard in my life. Never have I heard Lemmy so utterly frightened and furious. The rage that was poured into that one noise exceeded anything I've seen, even from Roy or my father.

Lemmy glared and growled at the chef, who was completely terrified, and had had no idea that that was my egg.

He was removed from chef duty and put on the Troop in order to avoid further incidents. I suppose it wasn't really his fault, but I don't see how you could mistake two very different types of eggs.

Needless to say, I was safe.

But…

Unfortunately, it was a little too late.

Kamek did his best to heal the egg, to no avail.

Lemmy cried for two weeks straight. I suppose he felt like he had failed me. He never went to therapy again, and Mom never forced him to, either.

He didn't play with Roy until half a year after I hatched.

And it was two years before he even went close to the kitchen again.

Seven before he began eating eggs, or anything with eggs in it. They had to use substitutes for that long in order to get him to eat certain meals, like pancakes.

Anyway, because of the cracks, the dents, and the puncture, I was born two weeks early. They were worried I was going to be Lemmy's size. I was for a while, until my growth spurt.

I'd had struggles walking, but Lemmy helped me out. We were closer than twins, somewhat ironic considering the whole 'age shift' debacle that happened when Lemmy and I were five and three respectively, before Larry's birth. Lemmy stayed with me, and protected me, always worried that I had been affected physically, like him. However, I hadn't been affected physically.

I had been affected mentally.

It wasn't as noticeable when I was younger, but it's very evident now.

To this day, I still believe that Lemmy blames himself. Anytime we eat eggs for breakfast, he'll sometimes flinch and glance at me.

But it wasn't his fault I'm this way.

It was our brother's. I bet he doesn't even remember the incident.

I had an accident when I was an egg.

Because of him, my sanity is gone.

Do I blame him?

…Maybe.

But I'm not sane enough to actually know for sure.


	5. Wendy

**Just so you know, this isn't really my true head-canon. I just wasn't sure what to write for Wendy. Though, it does seem plausible... maybe I'll make it real to me. Hope you enjoy.**

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I had an accident when I was one.

There's not really much to tell… it's a pretty short story, despite how long it has affected me.

I wanted everything and anything that was shiny. Actually, I wanted everything and anything, period. And if I didn't get it, I'd throw a huge tantrum until I did.

But I think everyone was just exaggerating, just because I was the first girl. They always whine about my tantrums. If anything, I just complain a little bit.

Anyway, it happened on a day when we got a lot of new servants, since Morton's egg was going to hatch any day now, and Larry's was close to being laid.

I was sitting in the bathroom, waiting for the Wash Boos to cater to my daily bath needs. There was a Paratroopa there, a newbie… I think his name was Blurr or something. He's in the Troops now, and he's a fairly high ranked solider. But when he first came to the castle, he was pretty young, around fifteen. He was told to keep an eye on me, while the Wash Boos were summoned from being Queen Mom's nursemaids and coming to care for me.

I remember he was really nervous. I don't think he knew what to do with me. It didn't help when I saw a bottle of something very shiny and clamored for it. It was a silver, diamond-shaped bottle, with a fancy purple label on it, which had been left on the counter.

He wasn't sure what I had wanted, and had tried to sooth me. Of course, being the child that my family says I was, and still am, I apparently started screaming for the bottle. I don't believe it for a second, though. I'm the most perfect daughter a Koopa King could ask for!

Anyway, after I had 'thrown a tantrum', he finally figured out that what I wanted was the bottle. He was really uneasy at this point, so he just gave it to me without much thought, in order to 'quiet me down'. I think he had said something along the lines of 'what harm could she possibly do'?

More than either of us realized, to be honest.

There was a large explosion from outside. The Paratroopa had rushed out of the washroom in order to check on what had happened, forgetting about me.

The blast had startled me, and the bottle had fallen out of my hands, landing on the floor. It wasn't enough to break it, but the top, which had already been loose, managed to pop off.

I grabbed at the bottle, upset that it had gone from my grasp, and shook it. I… this is embarrassing, but I guess I didn't have the bottle anymore and I was trying to punish it or something… taking the blame out on the bottle and trying to teach it a lesson! It sounds ridiculous, I know, but that's not important.

What's important is what happened next.

There was a cream inside of the bottle, and, when I shook it, it flew out and landed on my head. I was confused, and mad that the bottle had 'spit' on me, I swung it even more. This resulted in more cream being flung onto the top of my head, making me madder, causing me to shake the bottle even harder. This cycle continued until the bottle was empty, and I flung it across the room, where it clattered against the door and bounced back, finally stopping a few feet away from me.

I huffed impatiently, waiting for the Wash Boos to hurry up and get to the washroom so that they could get the cream off of my head.

I would've tried to clean it up myself, but Queen Mom had just painted my claws the cutest shade of pink, and even when I was a toddler, I knew the importance of manicures, and I didn't want to wreck them.

I sat there for a few minutes, irritated, admiring my nails and watching them gleam in the light.

That's when the burning started.

It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but the longer I sat there, the worse it got, until it felt like my head was on fire. I soon started crying and screaming from the pain.

The Paratroopa showed up after a moment, panicked upon seeing me crying, and he left as soon as he arrived to find the Wash Boos.

Five minutes later, they arrived on the scene. The moment the oldest spotted my white head and the bottle on the floor, she immediately grabbed me and dumped my head under the sink and washed the cream off of my head as quickly and as gently as she could. At least it hadn't gotten into my eyes or ears.

It turned out that the bottle had actually been filled with a strong hair removal cream, and it had burned my head, ruining my scalp. I learned later that, because of how long it had been left in, the cream had singed the roots and ruined the… I think Ludwig called them… follicles? Anyway, because of it, I'd be bald for the rest of my life. Since I didn't have very much hair at that age, I didn't notice it at first. I thought I'd grow some later, and it never bothered me at first.

But after I was a few years older, probably four or five, I noticed other female Koopas my age that had lots of hair, and I became very self-conscious and jealous. I think there was one time that I was trying to get someone's hair off of them so that I could have it. Obviously, it didn't work, so to cover it up, I wore a bow and lots of makeup, and did whatever I could to seem feminine and attractive. Because who could like someone that didn't have flowing, gorgeous locks? Even now I think boys only like me for my money… too bad for them. I use it all for me.

I had an accident when I was one.

Because of it, I don't have hair, and I never will.

But it's not like I need hair to be drop dead gorgeous, like I totally am right now!

…

…Right?


End file.
